


Nothing to fear, nothing to doubt

by oathkceper



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brienne is learning to love herself, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt & Comfort, Jaime loves his wife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 16:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21358888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oathkceper/pseuds/oathkceper
Summary: Had she not had dreams of cradling a babe in her arms as she looked out to the seas of Tarth with peace being the only emotion she knew, this would not hurt so deeply.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	Nothing to fear, nothing to doubt

Since a young age, it had been embedded into Brienne’s mind that she must marry and give her husband as many children as he desired. Those children would be carried within her body for nine moons, would be fed at her breast, and would be raised under her love and care until they were old enough to start families of their own. 

Brienne had also been told from an early age that she was not fit to be a lady and perform duties that all ladies were entitled to do. She was too much of most things and too little of everything else; Too mannish, too little a lady, too ugly, too little appealing. Any hopes of having a man see past her skin and into her soul became much too unrealistic, and so Brienne had stopped thinking about it all together because she simply was not enough. 

It seemed that now, even though she was a knight, even though she had found comfort within her armour and had built herself up as strong as battlements that the richest of houses could buy, the same taunts that haunted her from her youth continued to tear through her. She still was not enough. 

“Brienne,” Jaime murmured, his hand grasping her bare leg whilst he knelt on the floor before her. “Brienne, look at me.” 

Her head rose slowly from where they were focused steadily on her hands, her eyes welled with water that refused to spill from the oceans already embedded in her iris. Her bottom lip was red and raw from being chewed down on, her teeth denting the tender flesh until it ripped and stung whenever her tongue tried to soothe it over. 

“This is not your fault.” Jaime stated firmly, his gaze as determined as a knight in battle, and get as gentle as the steady tides. Rising his hand, he carefully tempted her lip from the harsh bite of her teeth, smoothing it over with a tender touch and cupping her cheek in the same comforting manner. “Do not doubt yourself over this.” 

Brienne shook her head silently, leaning into his calloused palm, her own raising to grasp his wrist to hold it exactly where it rested. There was little she could do to stop herself from allowing her emotions to pour from her eyes, and there was even less she could do to assure herself. 

“I should have been more careful.” She whispered, distraught. “I should have-“ 

“You have done _nothing_ wrong.” Jaime intervened, putting more pressure on his hand, raising himself up on his knees to face her more directly. Spreading her knees manually with his stump, he slipped between them, his free arm encircling her thick waist to pull her into an embrace she all but fell into. 

Jaime sighed heavily, closing his eyes against the emotion that he had been trying to hide as Brienne’s head found its way onto his shoulder, only for a broken sound to break loose from her lips. Her arms tightened around his neck, pressing him closer to her as if she was trying to keep herself together with the embrace of another since she could not find the strength in her to hold her breaking heart. 

It was then that a sob tore its way up her throat, followed by another, and then she was shaking so violently that Jaime had to pull her to the floor with him just so he could rock her back and forth in his arms. 

“It’s okay, Brienne,” He mumbled as his lips found her temple, his hand carding through her short, pale hair. “It’s _okay_.” 

“I’m sorry.” She choked, clutching at his shoulders like he would get up and leave her at any second. He had good reason to, but Brienne was not willing to let him go, not when it was in his strong arms that she felt more womanly than she was. That she felt safe. 

It was clear that Jaime was as upset as she was, and it was what made matters worse, indefinitely. 

Had she found out that she could not bear children before she had found Jaime’s love, it would not have been as gut-wrenching as it was now. Had she found out before Jaime had voiced his desire to have children that he could call his own without guilt or fear, it would not nearly be as hard to cope with. 

Had she not had dreams of cradling a babe in her arms as she looked out to the seas of Tarth with peace being the only emotion she knew, this would not hurt so deeply. 

“Listen to me,” Jaime lifted her head from his shoulder with the rugged edge of his stump, his eyes trying - but failing - to hold his grief away from Brienne’s intuitive eyes. Swallowing a lump in his throat at the pain that had etched itself into her features in the form of wet tears that fell in rivers down her blotchy cheeks, he leant forward and touched their foreheads together. “I love you. You are my wife, and _I love you_. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.” 

“But you want children.” Her bottom lip trembled as she clutched his face between her shaking hands desperately, her thumbs caressing his rugged beard. “You married me as a Knight without understanding that I cannot be a lady in any regard. You want a babe and I cannot give that to you.” She sobbed. “I cannot give that to _us_.” 

Jaime shook his head, seeking out her eyes as he drew his head back. “I know who I married. I married the woman that I love.” He said, firm and strong. “I want a babe, yes, but I also want _you_. I don’t need a child to be happy, but I need _you_. I don’t need a child to feel loved, but I need _you_. As long as I have you, I don’t need anything else, because _you_ are all that matters.”

A wrecked cry tore from her, her entire body falling into his awaiting arms before she brought his face to her own to press a deep kiss to his parted lips. She sunk into Jaime entirely, his arms holding her so protectively to his chest that she could feel the cold void she now felt in her abdomen filling with the warmth that he had given her himself. 

“I love you,” She whispered brokenly against his mouth. “I love you.” 

“Nothing else matters.” Jaime smiled softly in return, kissing her sweetly once more. “Only you. Only us.”


End file.
